Friday, May 19, 2006

Yeah... I can't have dairy.

Foods Eaten: 6% fat sheep's milk yogurt; spelt biscotti (1 bite); cashews; chicken; potatoes; butter; hemp seeds; cabbage; chocolate truffles (2); 85% cocoa chocolate
Cal: 1824 Fat: 134 g Carb: 79 g Fibre: 12 g Protein: 84 g
Weight: 154 lbs

I think trial number three has confirmed it. No dairy for Annabelle. Stomach cramps, major biotchiness, increased hunger. Yeah, I think I'm done with it. I even tried full fat sheep's milk yogurt (with 6% fat and absolutely no additives) earlier today and ended up having to run to the toilet within about 3 hours of eating it. I'd even put up with the gastric distress, but the biotch part is totally unacceptable, seeing as I live with someone who is incredibly nice to me 99.9% of the time and being a c-word to him isn't exactly the best way to pay him back.

This is devastating on almost every level. I mean, I can do it. I've given up practically everything else, haven't I? It's not the giving up yet another thing... it's the fact that it's dairy. I love dairy. I absolutely love it. I dream about cream. I f*cking dream about it.

In other news, I have no idea what to eat anymore. I am so sick of chicken, cabbage, sprouts, eggs and green beans!! Lamb is never something I crave more than once or twice a month. I would love to just have a salad. Or a nice steak. Or a bunless burger with grilled peppers and asparagus on the side. Or a nice homemade soup with real bone stock. Or even tuna! Tuna, for Christ's sake! All the stuff I use to eat. Waaaaaaaaaaaah! In my desperate need for variety, I've found myself 'cheating' with foods that I know probably aren't failsafe. Hemp seeds? What on earth would possess me to eat them, if not desperation? I ate a bite of a lovely spiced biscotti today that was made with spelt flour. It was almost like the fact that it wasn't wheat was so encouraging for me that I decided to ignore that it also had cinnamon (and probably nutmeg and cloves), olive oil and walnuts in it. I'm thinking one bite won't make that bit of an impact, but I shouldn't be mucking around with that stuff either way. AAAARRRRRRRRRRR! Before, if I had a sweets craving, I would just have strawberries and whipped cream...

I just want to eat something comforting and familiar. In times like this, I use to turn to dairy - but now what? Here's praying I don't sit down to a massive bowl of steamed rice at midnight tonight.

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