Yeah... I can't have dairy.

Foods Eaten: 6% fat sheep's milk yogurt; spelt biscotti (1 bite); cashews; chicken; potatoes; butter; hemp seeds; cabbage; chocolate truffles (2); 85% cocoa chocolate
Cal: 1824 Fat: 134 g Carb: 79 g Fibre: 12 g Protein: 84 g
Weight: 154 lbs

I think trial number three has confirmed it. No dairy for Annabelle. Stomach cramps, major biotchiness, increased hunger. Yeah, I think I'm done with it. I even tried full fat sheep's milk yogurt (with 6% fat and absolutely no additives) earlier today and ended up having to run to the toilet within about 3 hours of eating it. I'd even put up with the gastric distress, but the biotch part is totally unacceptable, seeing as I live with someone who is incredibly nice to me 99.9% of the time and being a c-word to him isn't exactly the best way to pay him back.

This is devastating on almost every level. I mean, I can do it. I've given up practically everything else, haven't I? It's not the giving up yet another thing... it's the fact that it's dairy. I love dairy. I absolutely love it. I dream about cream. I f*cking dream about it.

In other news, I have no idea what to eat anymore. I am so sick of chicken, cabbage, sprouts, eggs and green beans!! Lamb is never something I crave more than once or twice a month. I would love to just have a salad. Or a nice steak. Or a bunless burger with grilled peppers and asparagus on the side. Or a nice homemade soup with real bone stock. Or even tuna! Tuna, for Christ's sake! All the stuff I use to eat. Waaaaaaaaaaaah! In my desperate need for variety, I've found myself 'cheating' with foods that I know probably aren't failsafe. Hemp seeds? What on earth would possess me to eat them, if not desperation? I ate a bite of a lovely spiced biscotti today that was made with spelt flour. It was almost like the fact that it wasn't wheat was so encouraging for me that I decided to ignore that it also had cinnamon (and probably nutmeg and cloves), olive oil and walnuts in it. I'm thinking one bite won't make that bit of an impact, but I shouldn't be mucking around with that stuff either way. AAAARRRRRRRRRRR! Before, if I had a sweets craving, I would just have strawberries and whipped cream...

I just want to eat something comforting and familiar. In times like this, I use to turn to dairy - but now what? Here's praying I don't sit down to a massive bowl of steamed rice at midnight tonight.

Getting sick

Foods Eaten: Egg yolks; egg; potatoes; clarified butter; lard; cashews; chicken; cabbage; tiny bit of carrot; rice flour
Calories: 2237 Fat: 200 g Carb: 61 g Fibre: 10 g Protein: 57 g
Weight:153.5 lbs

I feel sick today - my ears are still bothering me, my throat is tingling/sore and I just have that about-to-get-a-cold feeling. I feel good otherwise, though. Happy and relaxed. Yay. My hunger is still beyond normal. I'm eating high calories but adequate carb and lower protein until it goes back to normal.

Still hungry

So I've decided that I should stop trying to cut calories until I'm clear again and my hunger is back under control. No point in suffering and risking a binge, which I feel very prone to right now. I'm going to keep carbs and protein as low as I can and do a bit of a fat-feast to get my metabolism back working the way it should.

I've been craving coconut lately. I would kill for a coconut smoothie or to make my own 'ice cream' with coconut milk instead of cream, but it has salicylates and amines in it. Grrr. I may trial it one day, anyway, just to see how I tolerate it. Not anytime soon, though!

So hungry

Foods Eaten Today: Eggs; clarified butter; potatoes; chicken; lard; green onions; cabbage; tiny bit of carrot (1 tsp.?); peeled pear; cashews; decaffeinated coffee (must stop drinking coffee!!!!)
Calories: 1784 Fat: 153 g Carb: 62 g Fibre: 13 g Protein: 50 g
Weight: 153.5 lbs

Foods Eaten Yesterday: Eggs; egg yolks; clarified butter; celery; cashews; non-dairy hemp ice cream; chicken fat; chicken; lard; green cabbage; tiny bit of carrot; decaffeinated coffee
Calories: 1556 Fat: 135 g Carb: 35 g Fibre: 9 g Protein: 56 g
Weight:154 lbs

I have been so hungry lately. It's out of control. I've been trying to reduce calories a bit, but it's not working - my hunger and cravings are insane. Now part of it may be from a new thing I tried yesterday - it was really strange and probably full of salicylates, but I was dying for dairy and had to have something to replace it. I tried this non-dairy hemp seed ice cream thing - no additives or flavourings, but hemp seeds may not be failsafe for all I know. I can't find any information on salicylate or amine levels. I do know that they have a good EFA balance. Anyway, I only had a very small portion but it was full of sugar, so that could have been the problem. I won't be making that mistake again, anyway. It tasted like ground-up hippies.

I must stop drinking decaf coffee. I'm totally addicted to it and I keep letting in creep into my diet because I convince myself that black decaf coffee "can't be that bad". It's probably contributing to my hunger too, for all I know.

Dairy Trial Continued...

Well, I wanted to see how long I could go until I started to really get hungry after having my creamy milk this morning. I ate breakfast at 9 am, then ran out and bought the cream at 10:30 and drank some of that just before 11 am. I felt fine, if not completely satisfied (drinking cream or milk always makes me just want to drink more for some reason - I am never really satiated). I stopped myself, though and went on with my day.

Went out for a very brisk walk at lunch and halfway through started to get a pounding headache. Once I got back to work and sat down again, the headache disappeared.

Around 3 pm, started getting quite hungry and a bit weak. Couldn't wait any longer and had another glass of cream at 3:30pm, due to some weird hypo symptoms (head rushes, blurry vision, anxiety).

I'm not jumping to conclusions, as I sometimes get these hypo symptoms even without dairy being involved. I did, afterall, go almost 5 hours without food, which is never a very good idea for me. The real test will be after today is done and I can observe symptoms over the next 2 or 3 days. This is the first time I've really had dairy and purposely avoided grains at the same time, so hopefully nothing horrible will happen and I will be able to reintroduce it. The hypoglycemia is very annoying and plays havoc with my mood, but if it means being able to eat dairy in moderation on occasion, I may have to live with it.

Mmmmm

Creamy milk = yum. I just had a mixture that consisted of 1/2 cup of half and half cream (10%), mixed with 1/4 cup whipping cream (35%) and some cold water. It was a little less flavourful than whole milk (probably because of the water diluting the taste), but still totally yummy. I do think that my hypoglycemic reactions can sometimes be partially psychological - I find when I'm kept busy and don't have a chance to think about food, I can go much longer without eating than I can if I'm bored and have lots of time to imagine myself getting hungry. Today's trick will be sorting the real hunger out from the imagined hunger. I went for another 45 min. walk at lunch yesterday and will be going on one today as well. They are a great way to take my mind off food and nutrition and stress.

I am working all weekend at a trade show - very long days - and will have to do some planning tonight regarding how and what I will bring with me to eat. Hard boiled eggs are good to bring, as well as some stir-fried meat and cabbage in butter which I should probably be able to heat up while I'm there. This is when I start to miss grains, since I can't make my very portable Optimal Pancakes anymore. I suppose I could make them with mashed potato instead of flour, but they won't hold together very well that way. We'll see. When eating on the go, it's even harder to get the right amount of fat into your diet.