Thursday, June 01, 2006

Honeymoon Period

Foods Eaten: Brie; butter; chicken; sour cream; chives; potatoes; 35 % cream; instant coffee; beef broth; egg yolks; duck fat
Cal: 1895 Fat: 173 g Carbs: 14 g Fibre: 0 g Protein: 74 g
Weight: 155 lbs

It seems to me that every diet has a honeymoon period. You start it... things go very well. You feel wonderful, your mood is stellar, your weight drops and then something happens. It either stops working, or works in reverse. I thought that Failsafe was the first diet that would escape this phenomenon, but I think it may be the same, in a way.

My mood improved so drastically when I first went on Failsafe. I had sunshiney, bird-chirpey, skipping through the park days. I was downright euphoric. I even dropped 5 lbs. But I've never re-captured those feelings that I had in the first weeks, even though my awareness of and attention to detail about amines and salicylates has gotten better since then. If anything, I'm more failsafe now than I was then. But no. I'm still my same old irritable self. Granted, I don't have the same number of fights with my partner and I'm not as bad as I was, but I am certainly nowhere near as happy as I was in the beginning. One may try to blame it on the cheese I've been eating (amines), but by no means in this a brand new phenomenon. I've just never been the same since those first weeks on the elimination diet.

You gotta wonder. Was all that some sort of psychological reaction to yet another diet? Was it some sort of euphoria resulting from detox? Is this another candida-style diet that makes one paranoid and question every little thing in one's life? Oh, I'm irritable... I must have been contaminated by something!! Maybe it was walking down the street next to someone wearing perfume. Or maybe the red pepper I accidentally touched at work did it! Pardon me for thinking that is just ridiculous. I can't live my life like that. I can't be that much of a weirdo. Even the most careful examinations of what I've eaten or drunk or even happened to have accidentally sniffed don't yield an obvious answer. I can't be a slave to salicylates and amines or allow myself to get snarly just because I may have walked through an air-freshened room. To me, it seems unreasonable that my body is so weak, inefficient and downright ill that it can't bounce back from a little whiff of something. If I were a wild animal, I would have been eaten by now out of sheer incompetence.

Don't get me wrong. Additives, chemicals, salicylates, amines... I don't intend on subjecting myself to them, if I can help it (particularly the additives and all the fake shit). But I do believe that the less you expose yourself to certain things, the more intolerant you become to them. I can't live in a bubble. I practically do live in a bubble already and I'm still not even close to 100%. I still have zero sex drive. None. I had one day about 2 weeks ago where I felt something but it was such a foreign feeling, I barely knew what to do with myself. And it has not returned since.

I do wonder if my emotional state is a result of something other than food and airborne chemicals. Otherwise, I should really feel great by now.

The honeymoon is over.

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