Friday, April 21, 2006

Odds and Sods

Foods Eaten: Potatoes; egg yolks; egg; clarified butter; Napa cabbage; leeks; celery; chicken fat; chicken
Calories: 1448 Fat: 125 g Carb: 29 g Fibre: 2 g Protein:55 g
Weight: 152 lbs

Well, last night I certainly wasn't as deliriously happy as I had been during the day. I started to get a bit snarky around 7 pm and remained so for the duration of the evening. It may have been an amine reaction from the chicken skin or it could have been that I was hungry and hypoglycemic. I did start to get a headache in the afternoon which does spell amines, (plus, I've had horrible heartburn since yesterday afternoon, too) but I was very weak and hungry in the evening, which spells hypo. I've been trying to reduce calories and have been in a bit of a state of deprivation lately, especially in the evenings when the calorie-reduction catches up with me. I ate a small lunch around 2:00 pm and didn't have a chance to make anything for dinner until 7:15 or so. That may not seem like a long time to your average person, but with my reactive hypoglycemia still in effect, 5 hours without food can be enough to still send me into a tailspin. I even went 6 hours between breakfast and lunch and didn't feel as icky.

I am still totally confused by this hypoglycemia. It simply shouldn't be there anymore. I eliminated dairy because I suspected it was making my situation worse (and dairy has never given me a real sense of satiation anyway), but I really expected that my hypoglycemia would have gone away by now. Honestly, I haven't been testing my blood sugar lately - I'm just going by symptoms - so I'm not actually positive that my blood sugar is dipping too low. I have a very good feeling that it is, though, from all the classic symptoms I've been having.

For instance, right now (11:15 am) I am feeling hunger pains, even though I ate breakfast at 8:45 am. Considering the breakfast contained 4 egg yolks, 2 tbsp of clarified butter and only 1/3 cup of potato, I shouldn't be hungry. There was plenty of fat in that meal. If anything, I used up more than a third of the calories I allot myself in a day, which is troublesome because it indicates that I will be hungry all day long. Is it the potato?? My God, I've already given up grains and dairy... am I supposed to give up potato too??

What the crap is going on here? What on earth am I supposed to eat? Am I just not supposed to have starches or sugars of any kind? I certainly can't load up on vegetables, instead, because of all the bullsh*t in them. And just not eating any carbs is incredibly difficult on the long haul. I get depressed when I don't eat any carbs and I find my weight loss slows down without that occasional boost of serotonin. Plus, I get nauseated at the thought of food if there's absolutely no carbohydrate involved - especially eggs. Lately I've been mixing in a tiny bit of mashed potato into my eggs before scrambling so that the texture isn't quite so... eggy and sickatating. I don't usually find eggs gross - only when I'm forced to eat them all the time, like I am now. The great thing about potatoes and eggs is that they soak up fat like nobody's business, unlike, say... chicken, which will just swim around in the fat. Aside from eating chicken swimming in fat with a spoon (ugghhhh), there's no way to get all the fat necessary to keep my ratios appropriate. The egg yolk and potato mixture, on the other hand, absorb the fat and make it easier to get it down. But eggs alone make me gag lately. Oh who knows!

I'm sick of experimenting. I just want to be able to stick with what I've been doing but not feel hungry all the time. 1400 calories isn't exactly at the 'starving yourself' level, so I shouldn't feel so hungry. I'm a little dumbfounded here.

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