Thursday, March 30, 2006

Some Non-Sequiturs

Foods Eaten: Decaf coffee; clarified butter; eggs; peeled pear; cashews; Brussels sprouts; lard; shortbread (flour, butter, salt, sugar); ascorbic acid; calcium/magnesium; sodium bicarbonate
Calories: 1899 Fat: 170 g Carb: 55 g Fibre: 8 g Protein: 52 g
Weight: 153.5 lbs

1) It was a downright beautiful day here, today. Almost warm, but not quite, but so sunny... so springy. It smelled like spring today for the first time. I wish the whole year could be like that. Well, half the year. And the other half, it can be autumn, which I prefer, marginally. I could manage a week of winter and a week of summer wedged in between them.

2) I feel good today. Whatever toxins I was excreting have been excreted and now I feel back to normal. Wow, I never thought I'd say that again - back to normal. I had forgotten what 'normal' was.

3) It occurred to me today that using profanity may not be allowed on this blog, so I've edited out all of my baddies with the help of a few creative symbols. Not that hoards of people will be reading my blog, but on the off chance people become fascinated with Failsafe and Optimal Nutrition, then I'd prefer not to get yanked offline. It's too bad. I love being profane. I love language. I don't feel that it's necessary to swear, certainly not to excess, but my love of language happens to include the dirty bits and sometimes a nice f-sharp really acts as effective punctuation.

4) I actually like my hair better without products in it! I was a bit of a cosmetics junkie before - I didn't walk around with pancake makeup or anything - I just loved buying (expensive) perfume, makeup, soaps, creams, hair serums... etc. Most of it I barely wore. I just loved buying it. I have no idea why. It was one of the only "girlie" things about me and now that it's gone... well, I'll have to take up buying lots of clothes and jewelery, or something, before I start actually growing a penis.

5) I've felt quite hungry for the last couple of days. Not hypoglycemic, thank God, but hungry. My regular meals are not fully satisfying me and I am sitting here at 10 pm with a case of the munchies. I don't know if it's good or bad. It means my thyroid is working, which is good. It's not like I'm really restricting calories, either. I'm eating a healthy amount. Not as much as I could, mind you, but I'm hardly doing the Atkins fat-fast.

I've always had a huge appetite, but I had just started attributing the appetite and the binge-eating of my past to my recently discovered food intolerances. But now I've eliminated all of those reactive foods. So what does this hunger mean and how should I deal with it? I mean, although it has become less of a priority lately, I am still trying to lose weight. Technically, at 5'4", I'm still about 20 to 30 lbs overweight (although I can't imagine what I would look like 30 lbs lighter). Should I increase fat intake, so as to not compromise my thyroid? Or keep food moderate to try to stimulate weight loss? A couple of options. I will begin by trying to get through the rest of this evening without snarfing down a bunch of sh*t I shouldn't be eating. (How d'ya like that? My censorship is in full effect!)

6) Speaking of sh*t I shouldn't be eating, I have a bright note: I looked at the ingredient list and double-checked the Food Intolerance Network and it looks like Walker's Scottish shortbread is failsafe. YAY! I had one piece after my dinner and it was SO GOOD. I haven't had shortbread in years, which is just plain wrong, really. Maybe I should make a batch of shortbread when this runs out so I can feel good about actually cooking something DIFFERENT again. My dad would be delighted, as he is from Scotland and has an immense sweet tooth. I should bring him some so I'm not tempted to eat it all!

7) I've been eating a million eggs lately. Not because I've given up on meat, but I do admit to being a bit wary of it lately. I know the eggs I've been eating are fresh. The meat? Could be full of amines. And I've been feeling really great on eggs lately. I will have to branch out eventually, though. I can't eat eggs all day long, every day! I will die of boredom. But I have heard that the only really failsafe meat is skinless chicken and even that can go amine-ey if not stored and cooked properly.

8) You know what I miss? Sitting down to a big fat, thick, well-marbled charred-on-the-outside, blood-red-on-the-inside steak. With some nice hollandaise for dipping. I know beef is supposed to be OK, but I am just not satisfied by a little 4 oz steak and now I am suspicious of the amines in it. When I was just plain low-carbing, I'd sometimes sit down to a big juicy humongous steak. I thought it was a decadence I was actually allowed to enjoy! Turns out I was wrong.

I miss pigging out on something. When you pig out on fat, it's not really pigging out, because the fat takes up such a small area for such a large number of calories so, really, a couple of ounces of fat is the most you can really pig out on before you feel like throwing up. All the things you can really have fun pigging out on are protein and carb-based. And they are no-nos. Sigh.



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