Friday, March 31, 2006


Foods Eaten: Cashews; decaf coffee; eggs; clarified butter; peeled pear; egg yolks; Brussels sprouts; lard; shortbread
Calories: 1876 Fat: 168 g Carb: 58 gFibre: 8 g Protein: 48 g
Weight: 153 lbs

Sometime this afternoon, I started to feel a bit panicked about some things going on in my life right now. My uncle is dying of pancreatic cancer and I have to drive my family out to see him tomorrow afternoon. He found out that he had cancer on Christmas day and now, three months later, he's on his death bed. He's on 24-hour palliative care now and probably won't live longer than a couple of days. I'm kind of in a blur about that, in general. But I just felt stressed and panicky about that and just life too.

When I got home, I started to feel sick and nauseated, so I lay down for an hour. I felt OK enough to eat something at around 8 pm, but I'm still not quite right. I feel a bit woozy and headachy and have been cranky all night. If this is a stress reaction, it's totally unlike any I've had before. If it's a food thing, I'm not sure what it could be, other than the dentist appointment I had on Tuesday, although that was a while back.

I just don't feel very well.



Ok, I seem to have reached maximum capacity with eggs. I went to have my lunch eggs (after already having eaten my breakfast eggs this morning) and about three bites in, I just about up-chucked. I had to throw them out. I simply couldn't face it. Booo! I'll have to figure something out for dinner. Eggs piss me off! Why do they have to get disgusting like that?? This is not the first time this has happened to me. And it only ever happens with eggs. Actually it happened a couple of times with coconut oil when I was going through that phase. Ugggh. Coconut oil still makes me shudder a bit.

But eggs are so eeeeasy... and cheap :(

God damn it!



This is a strange and unnecessary topic, but I wonder why I seem to be losing a touch of weight but my breasts are as big as ever. If anything, I'm starting to look top-heavy. Maybe my bras are shrinking in the wash, but I can barely squeeze into them anymore. Maybe salicylates make your tits shrink up. God, there's just nothing good about them is there?!

Maybe if I spread the news we'll get some actual food intolerance awareness going on. If men knew an additive and salicylate-free diet caused giant hooters, there would be funding from all four corners of the world for research and food companies everywhere would be taking the crap out of all their products, left, right and centre!



Thursday, March 30, 2006

Some Non-Sequiturs

Foods Eaten: Decaf coffee; clarified butter; eggs; peeled pear; cashews; Brussels sprouts; lard; shortbread (flour, butter, salt, sugar); ascorbic acid; calcium/magnesium; sodium bicarbonate
Calories: 1899 Fat: 170 g Carb: 55 g Fibre: 8 g Protein: 52 g
Weight: 153.5 lbs

1) It was a downright beautiful day here, today. Almost warm, but not quite, but so sunny... so springy. It smelled like spring today for the first time. I wish the whole year could be like that. Well, half the year. And the other half, it can be autumn, which I prefer, marginally. I could manage a week of winter and a week of summer wedged in between them.

2) I feel good today. Whatever toxins I was excreting have been excreted and now I feel back to normal. Wow, I never thought I'd say that again - back to normal. I had forgotten what 'normal' was.

3) It occurred to me today that using profanity may not be allowed on this blog, so I've edited out all of my baddies with the help of a few creative symbols. Not that hoards of people will be reading my blog, but on the off chance people become fascinated with Failsafe and Optimal Nutrition, then I'd prefer not to get yanked offline. It's too bad. I love being profane. I love language. I don't feel that it's necessary to swear, certainly not to excess, but my love of language happens to include the dirty bits and sometimes a nice f-sharp really acts as effective punctuation.

4) I actually like my hair better without products in it! I was a bit of a cosmetics junkie before - I didn't walk around with pancake makeup or anything - I just loved buying (expensive) perfume, makeup, soaps, creams, hair serums... etc. Most of it I barely wore. I just loved buying it. I have no idea why. It was one of the only "girlie" things about me and now that it's gone... well, I'll have to take up buying lots of clothes and jewelery, or something, before I start actually growing a penis.

5) I've felt quite hungry for the last couple of days. Not hypoglycemic, thank God, but hungry. My regular meals are not fully satisfying me and I am sitting here at 10 pm with a case of the munchies. I don't know if it's good or bad. It means my thyroid is working, which is good. It's not like I'm really restricting calories, either. I'm eating a healthy amount. Not as much as I could, mind you, but I'm hardly doing the Atkins fat-fast.

I've always had a huge appetite, but I had just started attributing the appetite and the binge-eating of my past to my recently discovered food intolerances. But now I've eliminated all of those reactive foods. So what does this hunger mean and how should I deal with it? I mean, although it has become less of a priority lately, I am still trying to lose weight. Technically, at 5'4", I'm still about 20 to 30 lbs overweight (although I can't imagine what I would look like 30 lbs lighter). Should I increase fat intake, so as to not compromise my thyroid? Or keep food moderate to try to stimulate weight loss? A couple of options. I will begin by trying to get through the rest of this evening without snarfing down a bunch of sh*t I shouldn't be eating. (How d'ya like that? My censorship is in full effect!)

6) Speaking of sh*t I shouldn't be eating, I have a bright note: I looked at the ingredient list and double-checked the Food Intolerance Network and it looks like Walker's Scottish shortbread is failsafe. YAY! I had one piece after my dinner and it was SO GOOD. I haven't had shortbread in years, which is just plain wrong, really. Maybe I should make a batch of shortbread when this runs out so I can feel good about actually cooking something DIFFERENT again. My dad would be delighted, as he is from Scotland and has an immense sweet tooth. I should bring him some so I'm not tempted to eat it all!

7) I've been eating a million eggs lately. Not because I've given up on meat, but I do admit to being a bit wary of it lately. I know the eggs I've been eating are fresh. The meat? Could be full of amines. And I've been feeling really great on eggs lately. I will have to branch out eventually, though. I can't eat eggs all day long, every day! I will die of boredom. But I have heard that the only really failsafe meat is skinless chicken and even that can go amine-ey if not stored and cooked properly.

8) You know what I miss? Sitting down to a big fat, thick, well-marbled charred-on-the-outside, blood-red-on-the-inside steak. With some nice hollandaise for dipping. I know beef is supposed to be OK, but I am just not satisfied by a little 4 oz steak and now I am suspicious of the amines in it. When I was just plain low-carbing, I'd sometimes sit down to a big juicy humongous steak. I thought it was a decadence I was actually allowed to enjoy! Turns out I was wrong.

I miss pigging out on something. When you pig out on fat, it's not really pigging out, because the fat takes up such a small area for such a large number of calories so, really, a couple of ounces of fat is the most you can really pig out on before you feel like throwing up. All the things you can really have fun pigging out on are protein and carb-based. And they are no-nos. Sigh.


Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Busy Day

Foods Eaten: Decaf coffee; clarified butter; eggs; peeled pear; cashews; ON pancakes; ascorbic acid; sodium bicarbonate; calcium/magnesium supplement
Calories:1948 Fat: 174 g Carb: 54 g Fibre: 4 g Protein: 52 g
Weight: 154 lbs

Today is one of those days where everything is insane. Work is a bit crazy, so I've had no time for my own personal pursuits, which is refreshing, actually - I love being busy. It makes me less likely to get restless and ants-in-my-pants-ish, which happens almost every day. I don't know if that's just my personality or if it's an ADHD symptom in me. Either way, I like being busy because it gives me less time to get paranoid about things.

Then again, I prefer not to be absolutely run off my feet. Tonight I'm going straight from work to pick up A (who works right in the bowels of downtown Toronto - such a pleasure to drive through at rush hour!), so that we can go to our friend D's offices (further in the bowels - we're talking almost at the anus) so he can finish up our tax forms. Then we will all drive back to our apartment (uptown) so I can make dinner for everyone, plus another mutual friend.

My menu is as follows:

Marinated chevre with Ciabatta
Chicken Schnitzel with Spaghetti Puttanesca
Figs and Strawberries with Chocolate Fondue

and I will be eating cold leftover Optimal pancakes...



Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Can You Feel Happy and Sick?

Foods Eaten: Decaf coffee; clarified butter; rutabaga; eggs; cashews; ON pancakes (made from egg yolks, eggs; water, salt, clarified butter, flour), fried in lard; ascorbic acid; sodium bicarbonate
Calories: 1933 Fat: 173 g Carb: 49 g Fibre: 5 g Protein: 53 g
Weight:153.5 lbs

Cuz I do. I feel great, emotionally, but my throat is feeling sore and scratchy again, my mouth is sore and I have a mild headache. I forgot to mention that my calves had been aching for the past few days, but they're feeling better today. The period that I thought had started a couple of days ago decided to go away after only about 5 minutes of spotting (but I'm due for it, so I'm expecting it will come any time now.)

These new symptoms could be a reaction to anything that has happened between my slip-up with dairy a couple of days ago and my mint-assault from this morning. But, honestly, I don't care! I just wanna cuddle up and enjoy the fact that I'm happy!


I Eat the Weirdest Things

And it's not because I have strange taste in food... it's just that my diet is so limited right now that I end up eating the same things over and over in odd combinations. This morning I hard-cooked two eggs, mashed them with clarified butter and stirred in some cooked cubed rutabaga and seasoned with salt. Now no one is trying to convince you that that is a normal thing to eat. It isn't. I am aware of this. It's just happened to be what I had, and so down the hatch it went. When you eat the same things every day, the idea of eating them even one more time can trigger a reaction of nausea (particularly with eggs, for me). I think the human body naturally seeks variety, so eating the same things too often can cause a repulsion. And so I have to vary the cooking method, or the way I eat them, very often. And occasionally you run out of ways to make them different, so you end up mashing them up with rutabaga, as above. It wasn't disgusting, despite how it sounds. It was actually pretty good. But by no means normal.

The word 'variety' no longer has any meaning to me. I can't even begin to remember what it's like to crave... pizza, for example, then just go ahead and order one and eat it. No... Cravings, to me, are weird distant memories for foods that I no longer know but silently yearn for. Sometimes I feel like I can remember what sushi tastes like, but mostly I can't.

This is an issue for me, being a chef. I can't really call myself a chef anymore really. I'm a fraud. Someone who eats nothing but eggs and Brussels sprouts and butter cannot really call one's self a chef. Sure, when people come over, I still cook for them, but I can't taste the food to correct for seasoning, so I just have to trust them when they say it tastes good. I no longer cook anything for A, my other half, since I'd just have to go and make myself the obligatory bowl of cabbage and lamb when I was done with his dinner and that just stopped seeming fair a couple of weeks ago. Lately, he's been eating total utter crap because he has no patience to make anything healthy for himself. And he's never been a fan of any of the foods on my 'allowed' list. After the third night of meat-and-cabbage, he abandoned ship and left me sinking in an ocean of crucifers and meat. On one hand, I feel so much better (emotionally, physically, etc.) and on the other hand, so alienated by all this.

I even like the foods I'm allowed to eat. I like almost everything, so that was never an issue. I'm one of those people who loves Brussels sprouts, cabbage and rutabaga (I learned to love most of them, but I do love them). I adore lamb and chicken. I can eat eggs every day and not get tired of them anymore (thank Christ). But I do feel like I'm living only a half-life when it comes to food and somehow that just seems so wrong for someone in my industry.

Sometimes I just feel so angry and cheated, but then I remember that everyone else is probably intolerant to all the same foods but just don't know it. They end up walking around with aches, pains, asthma, eczema, irritability, bloating, gas, diarrhea, depression, foggy head and they just don't know the cause.

But somehow, eating the junk seems worth it to them when it's not worth it to me. I say this because the people I have told so far about my food intolerances have replied "oh yeah, I get that sometimes too, but I just live with it because I just can't live without (fill in the blank)". What does that even mean? When did people get to be such wussies? You can't live without pizza/fries/burgers/rice/bread/jelly beans? You can't live without them? That's quite a statement. Maybe it's the fact that I have been addicted to a drug, but no food is so addictive that I couldn't give it up if it were compromising my health and well-being. People always talk about about my cast-iron willpower. I don't even know if it's willpower or if it's just common sense. A simple equation:

Food A + Annabelle = feels shitty, hungry, bitchy, bloated, evil
Food B + Annabelle = feels happy and satisfied
Conclusion: Avoid Food A.

I guess if my friends got to a point where they were absolutely miserable, the way I was, then they may change their minds. But it's funny - I know people with real legitimate health and emotional problems and they look to blame anything else but food. It's my brain chemicals! There's nothing I can do about it! It's not my fault. Well, they're right, there. It's not their fault, but they're just ignoring the most obvious cause. They'd rather go on drugs than entertain the idea that it may be the late-night bowls of Captain Crunch cereal they're pounding back. I mean every cell in our bodies replaces itself every 7 years... nothing is permanent. It's true proof that you are what you eat. Is the problem denial? Is it the addiction to the chemicals that's talking? Is it because the media is lying to them about what ails them? How can you educate people about this stuff without seeming like a militant asshole crazy woman?

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So this morning I went to the dentist for a cleaning. And it was horrible. My gums bled like crazy. I'm talking gobs and gobs of blood. My whole mouth is still sore. Ok, it had been 10 months since my last cleaning and maybe I don't floss as much as I should (read never), but this was ridiculous. I never have this much of an issue - my teeth are usually quite healthy. I've only ever had one cavity in my whole life! Oh, and I also got a talking-to about the fact that my wisdom teeth haven't been taken out yet. All in all, it was lovely little guilt-fest and I can't wait for my next brush with these people (no pun intended).

Unfortunately, even thought I brought some flavourless toothpaste with me in my purse, I chickened out and didn't say anything to my dentist about my avoidance of salicylates. I just couldn't bring myself to explain the whole thing and put myself in such an 'under the microscope' situation. I hate being different or difficult, so I just let her smear that horrible minty paste deep into every little crevace in my mouth. I'm sure I'll pay for it later.

Come to think of it, I can't actually remember one single day recently where I haven't bunged up something with this elimination diet. Either it's having drinks after work with co-workers, a shopping spree in a stinky incense-ridden shop, a big glass of lactose-filled goat's milk or a mouthful of minty toothpaste. You're not supposed to start challenges until after you've been on the diet at least 3 weeks and have had 5 'good' days in a row (reaction-wise), but if you count all the times I've screwed up, then I'm really starting from scratch every day. ARRRRrrrr. I need to get with it! I'm not even sabotaging myself on purpose. I just keep making mistakes or having (what I feel are) legitimate accidents. Oh, and chickening out at the dentist. We can't forget that. It's almost as if you can't properly failsafe unless you're totally isolated from the world.

I'm getting closer to that 'lock myself in a room and pee into jars' state than I thought!

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Monday, March 27, 2006


Foods Eaten: Eggs; decaf coffee; clarified butter; rutabaga; cabbage; egg yolks; potato; cashews; lard
Calories: 1713 Fat: 155 g Carb: 45 g Fibre: 8 g Protein:42 g
Weight: 153.5 lbs

Ok, I'm quite confused about vitamins. I've been reading Emma's recent blog postings about Vitamin C and Calcium and I'm not sure how to proceed. I've checked Fitday and seem to be meeting my RDA in Vit. C, no problem (but is the RDA enough?). I used to drink ascorbic acid mixed with a bit of bicarb of soda in a tall glass of water several times throughout the day before I started failsafe, but gave up on all my vitamins in a fit of paranoia about added salicylates and amines and, as well as the food sources of the vitamins (salicylate sources, especially for B vitamins).

The thing I'm worried most about right now is calcium. I'm not even scraping the surface of my RDA now that I've given up milk and dairy. I'm not even making beef or chicken stock anymore because of the amines and glutamates. I think I'm hovering around 20% of RDA. Without being able to eat calcium-rich veg (because they have too many salicylates), I'm not sure where I'm supposed to get my calcium now, if not from a supplement. All the Failsafe vitamins listed on the web are Aussie brands because that's where most of the focus for Failsafe has been. They have a wonderful network of people working together to find hidden dangers in foods and supplements... but here? Nada.

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Sunday, March 26, 2006


Foods Eaten:Eggs; butter; goat's milk; peeled pear; decaf coffee; cashews; unbleached flour; cabbage; lard; egg yolk; maple syrup
Calories: 1768 Fat: 150 g Carb: 62 g Fibre: 9 g Protein: 52 g
Weight: 153.5 lbs

Feeling sick. Earlier this evening I had a bout of nausea for no apparent reason. Now, it's midnight and I just feel under the weather in general. Very phlegmy and I have a tickle at the back of my throat and a pretty bad headache.

I never used to get headaches. If, in fact, if I ever did, I knew there was something wrong with me because they happened so infrequently. I do remember, when I was younger, staying away from chocolate and orange juice because they sometimes gave me a headache (salicylates!). Especially orange juice. Just goes to show, I knew what I was talking about. Eventually the headaches went away from those foods (or I just got good at ignoring them?) and I took up eating them again (mainly chocolate - I've never been a huge fan of orange juice because it's so acidic to me and hurts my mouth and throat).

Was a bit naughty tonight and had a dinner of fried cabbage only because I just didn't feel like meat. Then I had really eggy pancakes, which upped the fat and at least got some egg protein in. I felt nice afterwards. I'm still full hours later, which is a good sign. Thank God for fat!

I'm (for now) giving up on trying to figure out what has made me feel so bad tonight and I'm just going to try to get through it. Too many variables to guess at the moment. I'm just beginning my period, I've a couple of bouts with milk in the last two days and I also spent the afternoon browsing through a shop that sells crystals and stone jewlery that reeked of incense. Why is it that people have to play into stereotypes? "I love rocks and crystals so I'm going to open up a shop and inundate people with aromatherapy while I sit down and have a big glass of rice milk and eleven gluten-free cookies."


Carby Goodness

Is it strange that ever since I started failsafe, I have felt like eating carbs? I've not so much craved them the way I used to, but have just thought about them (a lot) and felt a weird fondness for them. I haven't really given in, but for some reason, I'm under the strange impression I can eat them if I really wanted to... even though I know deep down that I cannot. Could it be that most of the failsafe foods are carb explosions? No, I don't think so. Here's my theory:

When my body was full of chemicals and rotten amines, I was constantly depressed. Even when I thought I was happy, I wasn't really happy. I wasn't really myself. It was like the real me was looking down on this stranger who did and said and acted in ways that I would never really do. But I didn't really have any control over it. I just had to sit by and listen to her whine/bitch/moan/snap at people/cry. And I wanted to change things but couldn't.

Now that my body is somewhat 'cleared out' of all sorts of garbage, I feel so different. It's like a veil has been lifted from my eyes. I know this sounds corny, but I assure you - it's real. If anything, I'm sharper than usual. I'm smarter, quicker, notice things more, feel things more, like people more than I have in years. I feel good. Even when I'm a bit hypoglycemic and crabby, I'm still good underneath. I feel like the storm will pass.

And so we come to the carbs. Back when I was in my chemical cloud, along with the constant depression came a real sense of alienation from the rest of the world. Everyone else seemed so happy and normal and got along and I just didn't feel like one of them. I was on this low-carb diet so I couldn't eat like them and couldn't drink their booze or smoke their drugs and be like them. I was different.

Now I feel like I am one of them. I'm happy and normal and feeling fine. I can related to people again. So now, all of the sudden, some switch in my brain has gone off that makes me feel like I can eat like them. Hey, Annabelle, want some potato chips? Sure! Fruit? You bet - fruit's healthy, isn't it? A nice breakfast of waffles and maple syrup and fresh blueberries? Why not - everyone else is eating it. I'm just like them, right?

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Hypoglycemia and Milk

Ok, I don't know if I'm noticing a trend or if things are coming together in a way to make me believe something that isn't really happening.

I think milk gives me hypoglycemia.

This is what tipped me off to going off dairy in the first place, actually. When I was waiting for my daily servings of milk, I'd get incredibly agitated, shaky and lose anything resembling concentration. So last night I had my first glass of goat's milk and seemed fine for the rest of the night. This morning, I had a half a cup with my breakfast and this afternoon had a bad case of hypo. Now, granted, I had gone a number of hours without eating. But so had all the other people I had been with and they were all totally fine. What is up with that?? It can't just be the carbs because I've had some pear over the last few days and was totally fine for hours afterward. Plus, even when I got hungry, I just got hungry, like regular people do. I didn't turn into a spastic, slurry, irritable bitch. I guess I should have laid off the goat's milk if I was doing a proper dairy elimination. Ok, the goat's milk was only $2.50, so I won't lament it too badly. I'll just start fresh.

I wonder if I clarify my butter if I'll be doing anything worthwhile, or if it's just as dairy-ish, either way. I'll have to look that one up. The butter thing is killing me the most - not only is it one of the only failsafe animal fats, but it also has to be one of the most deliciousifying things in the world. Simply everything is yummier when cooked in/spread with/bathed in butter. Butter is the only convenience I have when it comes to Failsafe/ON. It keeps me going. It's available everywhere and it's healthy. Anabelle <3 Butter Forever.

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Saturday, March 25, 2006

Strange Day

Foods Eaten: Eggs; butter; peeled pear; whole goat's milk; raw cashews; Brussels sprouts; chicken thighs; sunflower oil; potato chips
Calories: 1772 Fat: 147 g Carb: 57 g Fibre: 9 g Protein: 64 g
Weight: 153.5 lbs

Feel OK today. Woke up at 10 am feeling pretty good. Had a glass of bicarb water just to kill what was left of whatever was causing that headache last night. Had a couple of eggs, an ounce of butter and half a peeled pear for breaky. Feeling A-Ok.

I've had a weird pain/tightness in my chest all afternoon that is rather uncomfortable and scary. I can't even imagine what might be causing that.

Just had my first glass of goat's milk. It was yummy. I wonder if there's such a thing as goat's butter. Not that I've ever seen. I've just done some reading about it and apparently, goat's milk has almost the same level of lactose as cow's milk, so if my problem is lactose, then I've just bunged up my elimination. Although I've never had gastro-intestinal problems from dairy and that is usually the first sign of lactose intolerance. Could be an A1/A2 issue. I'm hoping that it's not just Kiwi goats that don't produce A1 milk, because if I find out that Ontario goats have effed up milk, I'm going to be very pissed off. There's practically no A1/A2 information outside of Australia and NZ. A little tiny bit in the UK. Nothing about Canada that I can see.


Friday, March 24, 2006

So Why Am I Doing This To Myself, You Ask?

Well it all started like this... (Diclaimer ** Real sob-story to follow. Try not to think I'm a whiny idiot, because there is a point to it all in the end.)

I was a fat teenager. Wait, no... before that. I was a fat little kid. Not obese, but quite chubby. I danced every day (my parents are both dance teachers), but I was always chubby. And then when I decided to rebel and not dance anymore, (which happened to coincide with puberty), I ballooned into a 180 lb. 13-year-old. By the time I was 15, I weighed 220 lbs. By no means was it unjustified - I was a big ol' binge eater.

Right around this time, I was feeling incredible stress in my life. Partly from being so heavy, partly from my diet and partly from the surrepticious consumption of mass quantities of OTC anti-nauseants (dimenhydrinate), to which I had become addicted. Kids, these days! Always with their drugs! The truth is that I became addicted to them because I felt incredible pressure to live up to all sorts of expectations from the people around me (and myself) and I wasn't doing a very good job of it. This pressure manifested itself as a sick feeling in my stomach, which I naturally tried to relieve with drugs. I especially feared that sick feeling because I have suffered from emetophobia since I was a child. I still do. The drugs were easy to get - no one questioned me or asked for a parent's note. I just bought 'em. All on my own. At the age of 14. How industrious of me.

By the time I was 16, I was taking about 20 to 25 pills a day. I was having panic attacks, constant paranoia, horrible insomnia, my phobia was out of control... oh and that nausea that I suffered from before? I was suffering from it sixfold now. As soon as the drugs started to wear off, I'd start to feel as if I were going to be sick and I'd pop 3 more.

Needless to say this was not a good time in my life. I was afraid of everyone and everything and had become a shut-in. I stopped going to school. My parents didn't know I was using, but they knew there was something wrong with me. I was developing pinpoint bruises all over my body and I never slept. There was a time when I only shut my eyes for about 30 minutes a night. I kept insisting that I was sick and needed to be taken to a doctor, an internist... even the emergency room. I was in such deep denial that I didn't think the drugs caused the problem - I thought the drugs were the only thing keeping me going. But for some reason I knew I should keep them a secret because no one would really understand why I took them. Ugh. It was a horrible time in my life and I prefer not to think about it too much, but it's all part of my current situation, so I may as well spill the beans.

My mum took me to an internist. He tested me for everything (except drugs, shockingly) and determined that there was 'nothing physically wrong' with me, but since I was nauseated, here were some great anti-nauseants that would make me feel better. Well I took them too, on top of my own stash! Why not? I was nauseated, after all.

Then all of the sudden, I stopped being able to stomach food. I lost 20 lbs in two weeks. I developed a constant need to walk - I couldn't sit still. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't talk properly. I was overdosing and no one knew. Not even my brilliantly thick head figured it out. My mum took me to the hospital and they tested me for everything (once again, not for drugs). They determined there was 'nothing physically wrong' with me and that I needed a psychiatrist. There was one on-call at the hospital and she immediate could tell I was having an adverse reaction to drugs. She asked what I was taking and I told her about the internist's drug, but not about my own little secret. She ordered me to stop taking them because, "you must be having a reaction to that drug! Your face is paralysed on the left side when you talk!"

Smart lady. Well, I thought so until I started having regular appointments with her and she decided to stupidly put me on prozac. At this point, I realised that the dimenhydrinate was the real problem. I stopped taking them, cold-turkey. Over the next two weeks, I suffered more than I ever had and ever have since. I won't get into the nitty gritty, but I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone.

I began taking the anti-depressants - pointlessly, I might add, since I had already fixed the real problem. I actually stopped taking prozac a year later, suddenly and without my doctor's permission and simply stopped showing up to my appointments with her (which was stupid, as stopping a drug like that suddenly can cause serious reactions). I turned out fine, though. I must be built like a brick sh*t house, considering the crap I've put my body through. I even lost a little more weight over the next year, although with a low-fat diet and loads of exercise. Don't worry - I'd gain it all back a couple of years later in chef school. Back up to 210 lbs.

My weight fluctuated a lot in the years to follow. When I was in my early twenties, I toyed with starvation methods again (this time on purpose) and lost 40 lbs. Obviously, I couldn't keep that up, so I stopped, but coincedently found low carb around this time. Well, I tried it and, much to my disappointment, it didn't work. (This is not a shock to me now, as I'd really bunged up my thyroid with all the damage I'd done to my body in the short time I'd been on this earth.) I was expecting big hunks of lard to be melting off me by the day, but my weight didn't budge until I started to exercise extreme calorie control again. Luckily (or so I thought) the starving was much easier to do with low-carb than it had been before. Eventually I whittled my way down to 145 lbs. Quite an achievement for a weight loss f*ck-up like me.

Well, then all of the sudden, I started to gain. 150 lbs, 155 lbs, 160... I reduced calories further, but only gained more. What was happening?! Was this even possible?? I was only eating 800 - 1000 calories a day. I was also feeling incredibly depressed and constantly irritable - always snapping at poor A, even when he hadn't done a thing to deserve it. This is the point that I desperately started searching for answers. The pill was at fault! My thyroid was damaged! I was estrogen-dominant! Aliens had come down from Mars and implanted me with a microchip that interfered with my... well, I didn't go quite that far. But I was looking everywhere. And not connecting anything.

Luckily, I stumbled across The Porker Diet and gave it a try. Finally, the weight gain stopped. I even lost a bit. But then I'd gain it back. Then I'd lose again. Then gain it back. I was yo-yoing in amongst the same 10 to 15 lbs and starting to feel as if I was going insane. My poor partner really stuck with me through it, but I was pretty horrible to him, at times. My depression was getting out of control. I went off the pill, but even after a few months, saw no improvement.

By this time, Optimal Nutrition was my preferred diet. Even though I wasn't losing weight and I still felt like utter sh*t, I felt the best on ON than I had on anything else previously. Then came The Wise Witch to my rescue again by informing me about food intolerance, salicylates and amines. Sometimes I think we were separated at birth (with our health issues, that is!).

For the first time in what may be years, I feel different. I feel human again. The rosacea on my face has disappeared. In fact, my complexion is downright beautiful - the way it was when I was a child. I haven't even had the urge to wear makeup, which is both unheard of for me and a very good thing, since it's full of salicylates. I'm losing a bit of weight, which is fine with me, considering I haven't lost weight this consistently in over a year. I've experienced moments of happiness and contentment in the last couple of weeks that have exceeded anything I've felt in years. I don't yet know what exactly I'm sensitive to but I damn sure I'm sensitive to something. And I now feel confident that I'm finally on the right path to finding the answer.

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Nothing Like Doing Taxes and Eating Chips!

Foods Eaten: decaf coffee; eggs; butter; peeled pear; beef steak; green cabbage; gin; organic potato chips; sunflower oil
Calories: 1756 Fat: 132 g Carb: 55 g Fibre: 10 g Protein:59 g Alcohol: 21 g
Weight:153 lbs

Feel incredibly focused today, but unfortunately it's all on totally un-work-related stuff. God, I should be fired. Feeling pretty fantastic, though, and I have a feeling I'll feel even fantasticker once I get out of this office building and into some fresh air.

Feeling a bit tired straight after lunch (3 pm) and really wanting to get out of here. I have more tax stuff to do tonight (and this weekend in general). We're supposed to meet with D on Monday to finalise everything and he is supposed to come back to our place for dinner afterwards. What will I make? Somehow I doubt he'll be too impressed with over-fatted Brussels sprouts and sauceless lamb chops. Looks like I'll have to make separate meals for myself and them. I feel like a slave-mother who is forced to cook separate meals because of a picky child (only I'm the picky child in question). I never wanted to be a difficult person. Honestly.

Ick, now I'm being forced into having drinks after work with co-workers! Will have one, then leave.

Feel pretty positive this evening but have a big time headache. Could it be from being hunched over a million receipts and a calculator? From the gin and soda I had this evening? Or from dairy withdrawal? Or from accidentally eating some amines in something (not too hard to do, considering they're in all meat if you leave it long enough). I don't actually know when the meat at the market has been killed, let alone packaged. I try not to buy anything that looks super-sealed in the package and that could sit there for days without going grey. Who knows! I have eaten beef for the last two nights and beef is always aged here for at least 21 days (or can be aged for much longer even before it gets to the butcher's, depending on the supplier). I should try to stick to chicken and lamb. Wow, I'm really painting myself into a corner with all these restrictions. Soon I'll be eating nothing but sawdust and any insects that happen to run/fly by. Now that I'm such a successful weirdo, I may soon get to graduate to locking myself into a room, wearing tissue boxes for shoes and urinating into jars.

On a brighter note, I just ate 18 potato chips. Hazaa! Can't remember the last time I did that. Not too many carbs, exactly, but definitely too many at once. And boy did they taste good. With any luck, I'll wake up a happy, healthy, leggy supermodel and I will have found the answer... chips. Here's hoping. Actually, you know what? When there's no junk in the chips, you can stop eating them after just a few! The addictive quality is barely there without the chemicals. Double hazaa. I'll try not to do that very often, though. Anything out of a package is suspect to me, no matter what the ingredient list says.


Thursday, March 23, 2006

So where do I start?

I guess at the beginning. I started the failsafe diet on March 5th. I must admit, most of my information is in my fitday program. I also have used fitday as my journal - my outlet for all my frustrations, some of which I have copied below. I also follow Optimal Nutrition (a diet developed by Polish doctor Jan Kwasniewski that focuses on overall health - not just weight loss), so my diet is highly restricted and I have a lot of venting to do about it.

Here is a totally un-brief summary of my experience up until now (read from bottom-up). **Disclaimer - the following information is highly boring. It's mostly for my own records so I know how I react to foods - not because I think my eating habits are particularly thrilling. I've gakked the diet blog style of a fellow food-sensitive, Optimal Nutrition-following blogger who I've linked to the right (thank you, Wisewitch!), because, frankly, it works. Her blog is a great resource and she has loads of links that pertain to food intolerance and health, so do check it out.

Hmm, if anyone is still with me by the end of this first post, I'll be stunned.

March 23rd, 2006
Foods Eaten: Eggs; butter; peeled pear; steak; cabbage; beef tallow; unbleached flour; lard; maple syrup; Organic, additive-free chips (only 2)
Calories: 1822 Fat: 151 g Carb: 60 g Fibre: 10 g Protein: 65 g
Weight:153.5 lbs

Ok, my milk/cream-free diet has begun. I hesitate to say 'dairy-free' because I'm still having butter, although the lactose in butter is minimal and food intolerance is all about dose. But if I do say 'dairy-free', you'll know what I mean. We'll see if I improve. If I don't, then I may try to eliminate butter too. Although it's next to impossible to get enough fat without butter - it's one of the only failsafe animal fats! I refuse to have safflower oil and lard is high in amines and the beef tallow that I skimmed off the last beef stock I made and then froze is probably high in amines and natural glutamates.

What a horrible thing to have to do, a f*@!ing dairy-free diet, especially considering how little variety I have at the moment. But my pale complexion, ("fish-belly-white", as my Mum puts it), dark undereye circles and love of dairy kind of makes me the poster-child for lactose intolerance. My brother is even worse. His undereyes have not only been dark, but slightly swollen since birth in what his pediatritian referred to, even back then, as 'allergic shiners'. My mother never pulled him off dairy, though, since he didn't have gastro-intestinal problems. Hmm. He can't live without milk - he drinks at about a litre a day, always has.

Alrighty, I ate my eggs and pear at 9:45 a.m. Let's see if my hypoglycemia is any better and when I next get hungry. I'll try to limit butter to 2 tbsp per meal. Instead of so much butter at night, try to mix in some beef fat or lard.

Ate my second meal (identical to the first meal) at about 2:30 p.m. without being particularly hungry beforehand. At 4:30 pm I had a bit of foggy head. Could be dairy withdrawal, for all I know. However, an hour later, I went shopping after work and filled up the car with gas and never once felt hungry or desperate. I feel GREAT, in fact! One of those days when you find yourself suddenly walking around with a smile on your face and generally looking like a tit. It's possible the ground beef, or even the creme fraiche that I had been eating from a couple of days ago (fermented) could have been the culprit of my hypoglycaemia - it's possible that maybe I was too quick to blame dairy - but on my first day dairy-free, I feel wonderful. Had a dinner of steak and cabbage (even though I wasn't really hungry) quite late without any bother. Made myself two failsafe, dairy-free, very eggy pancakes in the late evening as a 'dessert' with a teaspoon of maple syrup smeared over them. Oh My God were they good. But I had no urge to binge, which I used to always suffer with. My one concern is that I had a couple of tablespoons of beef fat tonight in my cabbage - it tasted... so... BEEFY. Probably full of glutamates. If I'm upset tomorrow or the next day, I'll know why. It's so hard to find a fat to eat!

March 22nd, 2006
Foods Eaten: Milk; coffee; eggs; butter; chicken thigh; cabbage
Calories: 1489 Fat: 129 Carb: 37 g Fibre: 5 g Protein: 52 g
Weight: 153 lbs

Hot burning cheeks this morning (the cheeks on my face, that is). No visible rosacea, but it kind of 'felt' like there was. No more raw sugar in my diet. Molasses is not failsafe. Not that I was really eating all that much of it. Still considering going dairy-free (except butter- although is that a real test??) for a period and then doing a milk challenge. My reaction while waiting for "milk-time" yesterday was alarming! I'll not have any more milk today and start properly tomorrow.

VERY irritable after work - had a long phone conversation with D and then deposited a cheque and shopped for groceries on the way home from work - by the time I got home, I was a raging inferno of hypoglycaemia. It was only 6:30 pm, but I was VERY hot-tempered, irritable and weak. Wanted to kill A for absolutely no reason! Ugh. Is this a dairy thing, or what?
After eating dinner, I felt a nice amount of energy and did practically all of my taxes. I even called the credit card company at 11 pm to find out about a missing statement! I haven't felt this productive in ages. And I'm in a way better mood now. I must have been majorly hypoglycemic today, several times, which explains the crazy mood swings.

God, without my evening milk, I have no idea what to eat! My calories are quite low today, as a result.

March 21st, 2006
Foods Eaten: Milk; coffee; eggs; butter; chicken thigh; red cabbage; celery; Brussels sprouts
Calories: 1788 Fat: 152 g Carb: 52 g Fibre: 5 g Protein: 62 g
Weight: 153.5 lbs

Is creme fraiche even OK? It's fermented! Amines? Eliminate for a few days and see if it makes any difference in your mood (my mood hasn't been as miraculously good as it was after that first 5 or 6 days).

Woke up with very very dry mouth, a horrible canker sore (from biting my tongue) and a mild whiff of a headache which seems to be lasting all morning. Very bored and ADDish at work today. This day feels like an eternity. Feeling some adrenaline tightness in my chest and totally restless. Not sure why this is. Keep feeling nervous waves across my chest and stomach. Could this be from the mince or the creme fraiche last night? Could it be a craving for milk due to an allergy or intolerance (the feeling is going away now that I'm drinking my afternoon milk around 4 pm). Could it be a lack of carbs (all I've had today is eggs and butter and my adrenaline could be surging in an effort to raise blood sugar). Perhaps I should drink my milk in smaller amounts throughout the day more to prevent this feeling?

Boy - 15 minutes after that milk, I feel like I've had a sedative. Rethink all this milk, Belle.

Just read about A1 and A2 milk. You may need to think about eliminating dairy, or at the very least, switch to Goat's milk since it's an A2 milk. I don't know what type of milk I've been drinking, but I suspect that if it were Jersey, it would say so. Uuuugggghhh - Optimal Nutrition is SO HARD without having cream and butter! I can't face it!

Hmm, at least I'm losing weight. Ugh, what a sick attitude!

March 20th, 2006
Foods Eaten: Coffee; milk, butter; eggs; mince; red cabbage; Brussels sprouts; egg yolks; creme fraiche; maple syrup
Calories: 1771 Fat: 151 g Carb: 58 g Fibre: 7 g Protein: 55 g
Weight:154.5 lbs

Felt great this morning, despite being a Monday and going to bed at 1 am last night. Hungry this a.m. too. Had to eat one of my eggs at 9:30 to curb hunger, which is unusual - I typically break fast at 10 or 11 a.m.

Drained and tired in the afternoon. Could just be a recovery from the weekend. Felt better after a very milky coffee. Discovered I had miscalculated the nutritional information on my creme fraiche, so I edited the information and now the last week is looking quite different and sort of explains a lot. I think my new source of nutritional information is more reliable (it actually specified 35% cream, which the other had not). Actually, I'm quite impressed with my lack of weight gain from the msg incident of March 17th, all things considered.

I think the level of milk I was drinking was good, but not completely necessary and it limits the other carbs (and protein!) I can eat in a day. Thinking of reducing to 1-1/2 to 2 cups/day, instead of 2-1/2 cups. I'm still getting my creme fraiche calcium, after all. My sense of smell is returning a bit, especially with garlic. I can smell garlic on someone's breath, even if they haven't eaten any THAT DAY. I feel like Spiderman, all of the sudden. Oh, and my breath has definitely improved over the last week. I barely have a bad taste in my mouth in the mornings and only really have icky breath after having milk. Is that a sign, or is that just because milk is funny that way? Not sure - something to ponder.

March 19th, 2006
Foods Eaten: Milk; coffee; eggs, butter; red cabbage; celery; creme fraiche; raw sugar
Calories: 1738 Fat: 149 g Carb: 58 g Fibre: 6 g Protein: 54 g
Weight:155 lbs

Finally feeling a bit more normal today after my brush with chemical food on Friday. Noticed last night when everyone lit up cigars and cigarettes that I wasn't nearly as sensitive to it (last week, A had one and I practically started gagging). Probably my MSG feast on Friday retoxed me and now I have to detox again before I am ultra-sensitive the way I was last week.

March 18th, 2006
Foods Eaten: Milk; coffee; eggs; butter; cashews; creme (10%); lamb chops; Brussels sprouts, cabbage; creme fraiche
Calories: 2026 Fat: 181 g Carb : 50 g Fibre: 6 g Protein: 59 g
Weight:154.5 lbs

No weight gain yet, but it still may happen tomorrow. Cranky in the afternoon after cleaning all day. Went to see a film with A, T and C, then came home and cooked pasta for everyone, including two other friends (I didn't eat any, obviously). Many illicit substances and assorted fun fun fun were had by all. I was surprisingly 'good'.

But I still feel bloated and a bit cranky.

March 17th, 2006
Foods Eaten: Milk; butter; eggs; yolks; cabbage; squid; scallops; shrimp; salmon; white rice; Chinese cabbage; carrot; oyster sauce; lettuce; corn oil; small scoop of ice cream (ack!); celery; red cabbage; creme fraiche
Calories: 2058 Fat: 175 g Carb: 73 g Fibre: 10 g Protein: 58 g
Weight 154.5 lbs

Drank less milk today to keep carbs down to a minimum. Ugh, I ate terribly. We went to this place 'Fire and Ice', a stir-fry restaurant where you choose your own veg, protein and sauce. I asked for no sauce, but the ignored me and it came tasting suspiciously like oyster sauce - MSG city. I chose good vegetables, only picking a tiny slice of carrot and a tiny amount of Chinese cabbage, which is moderate in salicylate. The seafood sampler on top, is another issue. All high in amines. Well, including the poison-sauce, you can imagine this meal went over like a lead zepplin. Oh, did I mention the ice cream afterwards? Well it came with the meal, after all! Ugh... After lunch I became so incredibly bloated, I felt like I was doing the backstroke in a sea of bodily fluids. My immediate reaction upon returning to work was to run to the washroom - it went right through me. And I rarely have that reaction.

I feel like this was a big waste, but I'm going to try not to freak out about it in typical Mother Nuture-style. I predict a weight gain either tomorrow or the following day. (*Edit - it never came!)
Second reaction to the food: fell asleep at my desk around 3:00 in the afternoon!! This is a huge indicator that I have eaten something I that I'm highly sensitive to. I fell asleep twice actually - couldn't keep my eyes open.

In the evening, the third reaction: I seemed to magically transform into a class-A, raging bitch. A real cow. I probably could have won the "horrible person contest" if only I had been able to find one to enter. I hated everyone, everything. I felt like I used to as a tantrum-prone child, where the world felt like it was caving in on my and I wanted to tear a strip off of anyone who dared come near me. Upon reflection, I was a nightmare child. I'm really realising this now. And you know what? I haven't been a stellar adult, either. I have mood issues. Well... I thought I had mood issues. I clearly have food issues.

Please let this reaction end! *runs to the box of bicarb*

March 16th, 2006
Foods Eaten: Coffee; milk; egg; butter; chicken thigh; celery; creme fraiche; potatoes; Brussels sprouts
Calories: 1806 Fat: 154 g Carb: 61 g Fibre: 6 g Protein: 53 g

Feel better today - more 'with it'. Had some baking soda in water to try to flush out any badness from yesterday. I feel pretty great, all things considered. Although, those salicylates may take a day or so to kick in. I'd better stick to the diet closely today to avoid confusing the results. Ugh, I have to eat lunch out tomorrow with co-workers. Not sure what I'll eat. It's not a controlled environment where I can actually use the experience as a challenge by trying 1 new vegetable. It's a bad scene, I'm telling you. I am predicting some bad sh*t. I'll have to be very strict for 2 days to follow with lots of bicarb for flushing-out purposes.

March 15th, 2006
Foods Eaten: Milk; coffee; egg; butter; lamb chops; red cabbage; potatoes; celery; creme fraiche
Calories: 1857 Fat: 158 g Carb: 62 g Fibre: 7 g Protein:55 g
Weight: 155 lbs

Woke up with an itchy patch on my right leg (and generally itchy legs , but only one rashy spot). Could be the moisturising strip on my razor blade? I'll have to look into a strip-free razor. Today wasn't as good a day for me - went out with A in the afternoon. We took the subway to Yonge and Bloor so he could go to Bay St. Video, which reeks of that weird cherry air freshener and I got an immediate headache. Then we had to go to Shoppers' Drug mart to pick up a few things and that entire store smells of cosmetics and perfumes, so I ended up in a bit of a foul mood on the way back home (especially when we missed our subway stop). I recovered more quickly than normal, though, which is a good sign. I just hope I don't suffer tomorrow from all these salicylate smells in the air.

Feeling a bit anti-climactic and tired, but pretty relaxed. A bit down, but who knows if that's food intolerance-related, or just a side effect of "the big night" being over.

March 14th, 2006
Foods Eaten:Milk; coffee; chicken thigh; celery; Brussels sprouts; creme fraiche; butter; cashews; eggs
Calories: 1762 Fat: 152 g Carb: 54 g Fibre: 4 g Protein: 56 g
Weight: 155 lbs

Today's the big day - the screening of A's short film. I'll bring hard boiled eggs and butter in a cooler, as well as some cashews, so I have something to snack on right around the dinner hour.

Looking forward to this!
[Edit*Went very well. Cranky the the afternoon while getting ready - not sure why - possibly the slightly "off" milk I drank the day before in my coffee (amines?!).]

March 13th, 2006
Foods Eaten: Milk (lots today); coffee, cashews; butter; eggs; chicken thigh; Brussels sprouts; creme fraiche
Calories: 1721 Fat: 147 g Carb: 55 g Fibre: 6 g Protein: 57 g
Weight:155 lbs

Half a pound heavier today, but I had a big glass of bicarb last night before bed to try and excrete all those chemicals that seemed to be causing the headache. I had the slightest whiff of a headache this morning (almost more of a tenderness resulting from all that pain - like a memory of pain). Felt wonderful, though. Great mood. I still have a slight back ache - very low, just above my bum on the right side. Strange and highly annoying. My joints dont ache anymore, though, which is nice!

Keep getting a cross between a headrush and a pounding in my head when I stand up too quickly. Feels like orthostatic hypotension that I sometimes get in the summer. Lasts only a few moments - sometimes up to a couple of minutes. Strange!

March 12th, 2006
Foods Eaten: Creme Fraiche; butter; cream; eggs; green onions; milk; cashews; chicken; Brussels sprouts
Calories:1670 Fat: 142 g Carb: 54 g Fibre: 5 g Protein: 54 g
Weight:154.5 lbs

Ever have a headache that makes you want to blow your head open to relieve the pressure? Had one of those all... day... long. Went to A's mum's brunch at noon and didn't eat anything, despite all the food and desserts. Luckily everyone took it rather well. Hey, as long as you don't take people's food away from them (or imply that what they're eating is junk), then they tend to not care what you put in your own mouth. I just drank soda water and decaf that I brought with me.

Drank some milk when I got home because I was feeling pretty hungry from going so long without food (didn't feel terribly hypoglycemic though, surprisingly), then passed out asleep for an hour and a half, due to pain and exhaustion. The headache was most likely from the horrible chemical smell coming from the first floor of our building, plus from cleaning the bathroom thoroughly with disinfectant on Saturday. I'll need to find an alternative cleaner.

I felt quite happy through all of this, despite the pain and despite not being able to take any drugs for the pain (tylenol is not failsafe, and neither is ibuprofen and obviously not aspirin). Made dinner, washed dishes, edited A's short bio for his upcoming film screening - all without an ounce of crankiness! Pretty happy about that :)

March 11th, 2006
Foods Eaten: Whole milk; coffee; maple syrup; eggs; butter; creme fraiche; green onions; cashews (raw); celery; bok choy (Chinese cabbage); peeled pear
Calories: 1685 Fat: 141 g Carb: 65 g Fibre: 5 g Protein: 55 g
Weight: 154.5 (Dear Lord. I'm not used to this... hmm what's it called again? Oh yes... weight loss.)

Feel good this morning aside from the constant headache I seem to have lately. Still detoxing? Not sure. I hate that part, but I can certainly live with it. I also had horrible middleschmertz or something that felt like horrible mentrual cramps all day. Very weird. I'm just about halfway through my cycle, so its probably the cursed schmertz. Plus, my joints were achy, particularly my right hip (also the side that seemed to be ovulating) and my right shoulder joint. All very achy and sore. Maybe I'm one of those people who has a long detox.

When I came home yesterday, they were painting in the lobby or something because there was a horrible paint thinner smell that permeated the whole of the downstairs of our building, and seemed to have drifted up through the vents and into our bathroom. A taped up the vent, which helped a lot. Felt good mentally last night, though. Joked around with A all night and felt pretty dandy in general.

Now if I can just think of a way to approach the diet subject with T and C who we're seeing tonight and A's mum, who we're having brunch with tomorrow. Plus, I'm still supposed to have that lunch out with co-workers on Friday and they mentioned something about wanting to go out for Margaritas soon! Blarghh. How can I do this and not seem like an anti-social weirdo (or "more of an anti-social weirdo than usual" is more like it).

On a happy note, I walked all through Kensington Market and Chinatown for hours with A today without getting cranky or hungry once! I'm a star!

March 10th, 2006
Foods Eaten: coffee; cream; eggs; yolks; butter; milk; savoy cabbage; rutabaga
Calories: 1774 Fat: 156 g Carb: 56 g Fibre: 5 g Protein: 52 g

Anti-social all evening today and was accused of being 'difficult' by my darling pie. Hmph. Feel generally good, though. Was headachy this morning again. Looking foward to all these symptoms going away.

I'm just happy my weight didn't go back up (which it usually does after a drop like that).

I just hope no one is reading this and having a fit that I eat approximately 5 g fibre/day. I say 'Screw you, fibre. You've done me no good.'

March 9th, 2006
Foods Eaten: Cream; coffee; eggs (lots), yolk, butter; whole milk; rutabaga; savoy cabbage
Calories: 1755 Fat 151 g Carb: 58 g Fibre: 7 g Protein: 55 g
Weight: 155.5 lbs (woah!)

Wow - what a weight drop!! This diet is definitely having an effect on me. I was very sniffy and snotty this morning upon waking. Also, my skin feels irritated and I still have a headache that comes and goes. Not hungry in the a.m.

March 8th, 2006
Foods Eaten: Organic cream; organic eggs and egg yolk; organic butter; decaf coffee; lamb chops; rutabaga; savoy cabbage; organic whole milk
Calories 1758 Fat:151 g Carb (incl. fibre): 58 g Fibre: 6 Protein: 55 g

Ex-haus-ted. Went to bed at 10 pm last night and at 7:30 this morning I was still tired as fuck. I could still have slept until noon. I guess these withdrawal symptoms are shifting into full gear. Have another early night tonight if needed. I have a business lunch coming up on Friday. Figure out something for that. Maybe honesty? Ick - the thought of telling these people my business sickens me.

March 7th, 2006
Foods Eaten: Decaf coffee; cream (not organic); butter (not organic), eggs (not organic); chicken thigh; rutabaga (swede); potatoes
Calories: 1849 Fat: 165 Carbohydrates (incl. fibre): 49 g Fibre: 4 g Protein: 51 g

Feel rather bloated today and a bit headachy in the morning. Probably still the withdrawal symptoms and die-off. Starting to feel like I may have a yeast infection or something. Hrmm.
I'm finding out that a whole bunch of stuff that I thought was failsafe is absolutely 100% not. I'm cutting out vitamins, as they're all full of utter garbage, including my MSG-ridden multivitamin (what the crap is that about?). No more regular butter - it has colourings in it. Only the organic kind specifically says 'no colour added'. Same goes for eggs, cream and milk. I'll have to bring a stock of butter, milk and eggs to work.

March 6th, 2006
Foods Eaten: Cream (not organic); decaf coffee; butter (not organic); eggs (not organic); homemade ice cream (low sugar); Savoy cabbage; potatoes; chicken thigh; roasted cashews
Calories: 1749 Fat: 151 g Carbohydrate (incl. fibre): 52 g Fibre: 6 g Protein: 55 g
Weight:157 lbs

I feel fresh and new and shiny and wonderful, but that could just be a side effect of trying something new, starting fresh, the way I did when I introduced coconut oil in my diet (which, sadly, is high in salicylates and amines) then again when I began ON. I really enjoyed my dinner last night, though, and felt no hunger afterwards. Yay.

March 5th, 2006 (started failsafe - not very successfully, mind you - after breakfast)
Foods Eaten: Unsweetened cocoa powder; decaf coffee; cream (not organic); eggs (not organic); butter (not organic); roasted cashews; pork chop; Savoy cabbage; potatoes
Calories: 1782 Fat:155 g Carbohydrate (total with fibre): 45 g Fibre: 8 g Protein: 56 g
Weight: 156 lbs

Just getting over some food poisoning today that resulted in some serious week-long gastro issues. Ugh.